


House Rules

by FifteenDozenTimes



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 06:25:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4908784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FifteenDozenTimes/pseuds/FifteenDozenTimes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He learns that when Raymond comes home with that set to his jaw, that tension in his shoulders, that they will spend the night talking, into the wee hours of the morning, and Raymond will never appear to feel any better but Kevin will feel unspeakably worse, so anxious and unhappy he can barely breathe the next day, much less focus on his work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	House Rules

Kevin is, above all else, pragmatic. He’s been accused of coldness, but only ever by men who never really understood him anyway. Raymond understood, right away; Kevin half-believes that the intensity of his gaze indicates the ability to look at a person, just once, just briefly, and see the entirety of that person’s soul to deem them worthy.

If that is true, the moment he was found worthy of Raymond’s time, attention, affection was the moment he was awarded the highest honor he has received in his life.

Kevin does not often invite men up to his apartment, cautious to a fault, but this time he does, and Raymond accepts, and Kevin’s life begins.

*

Raymond has a nicer apartment than Kevin, with a less nosy landlord, and Kevin so thoroughly hates the times they are separated by anything less important than their work schedules he says yes nearly before Raymond finishes the question.

Raymond just laughs, the most delighted laugh Kevin has ever heard, and that, as they say, is that.

Kevin learns so much those first weeks - he learns that without the fear of paper-thin walls, Raymond’s volume stays the same but his own gets louder; that Raymond is a perfectly respectable cook but prefers his toast nearly burnt and assumes Kevin does too; that Raymond loves to make small, practical gestures, almost laughably romantic in their practicality.

He learns that when Raymond comes home with that set to his jaw, that tension in his shoulders, that they will spend the night talking, into the wee hours of the morning, and Raymond will never appear to feel any better but Kevin will feel unspeakably worse, so anxious and unhappy he can barely breathe the next day, much less focus on his work.

“Our home should be a happy place,” he says, “and safe. I don’t believe it can be that for either of us if we continue to spend our evenings talking about your workplace.”

This will likely be it, he thinks, the moment (it’s always come earlier before; that doesn’t mean it won’t come eventually) Raymond decides his need to protect himself has turned him cold and unfeeling. 

Raymond smiles at him, though, not without a touch of regret in his eyes, but wide, and genuine. “I think that’s a fine idea.”

*

Kevin attends work functions with Raymond, because it is so important to him to never show weakness, to push and plant his feet and not be moved by anything. Kevin had done a fine job designing a life of comfort for himself, nice things, a small group of good friends, the sort of peace that comes from being a small, quiet man who remains out of the way.

Raymond won’t - can’t - won’t - live like that, and Kevin won’t ask him to shrink himself for comfort. Kevin drinks courage from a small flask on the way, squares his shoulders and stands as proudly as he can next to Raymond. 

He absorbs everything, the whispers, the looks, and he sets his jaw and plants his feet and tries not to cling to Raymond too hard later, alone in their bed, tries not to take more energy than he gives back.

*

They buy a house, adopt the dog Kevin’s always wanted, a dog who loves Raymond maybe more than Kevin himself does, and couldn’t care less whether Kevin lives or dies. 

Raymond leaves the house earlier and earlier; for breakfast with Madeline, then breakfast alone, then painting class, fencing class; fills his before-work hours with activities to shore him up for the day ahead. They fill their home with beautiful things, luxuries and comforts; Kevin brings work friends home for book clubs, for board game nights, for casual dinners with sparkling conversation.

Raymond’s work life is terrible, until it isn’t, until they shunt him off somewhere so crushingly mundane it’s worse than that.

Kevin takes him on walks, some evenings, won’t break the No Cop Talk At Home rule but understands when it’s more cruel than kind. They walk and talk until Kevin feels crushed under the weight of Raymond’s work life, and when they get back home Raymond smiles at him. Things aren’t ideal, because in an ideal world Raymond would leave the NYPD and find somewhere to be happy, not just alternately defiant and bored.

Raymond wouldn’t be happy somewhere he couldn’t be defiant, though, so perhaps not-ideal is their ideal.

*

Neither of them is prone to sentimentality, in the traditional sense at least. Raymond remembers to change the toaster setting after  
making his own toast before he makes Kevin’s, folds the paper back up properly when he’s finished, laughs delightedly - never derisively - when Kevin’s feeling whimsical in the morning and makes pancake art.

Raymond proposes by e-mailing him a link to a news article he’s read, disbelieving, several times already that morning, and asking if he’s free after work. It’s perfect, and their absurd one-minute courthouse-step wedding is perfect, and when Kevin drifts off to sleep that night after a record-setting lovemaking marathon, Raymond mutters something that sounds like “worth it,” and Kevin’s heart swells and breaks in an instant.

*

“Things are different this time,” Raymond says, before Kevin can react to the list of names and e-mail addresses he’s added to the invite list. 

“They almost have to be, don’t they? You’re the boss.”

“In the interest of honoring your rule, I won’t go into specifics, but I think you should reserve judgment.”

Kevin sighs. “I know you’re happy to be given a command, Raymond, and I’m thrilled for you. I’m just not sure it’s wise to get your hopes up.”

“Invite them, please. I’ll let you gloat if you’re right.”

Something in Raymond’s voice makes Kevin look up from the names he’s been frowning at; he looks more worried than Kevin’s accustomed to. Everything he puts himself through, and this is what worries him. That’s unacceptable.

“I never pass up a chance to gloat,” Kevin says, and tries as hard as he can to really mean the laugh in his voice. Raymond needs this, so Kevin will do this. 

He’s nothing if not pragmatic.


End file.
